Confession…I have embarrassingly low brow taste in all things entertainment. Oh sure, I will occasionally read a newspaper or watch PBS, however if left to my own devices? I morph into a prepubescent girl/recent college grad hybrid of embarrassment. I pray to the altar of ABC Family and have been known to record some of their original movies. “Lucky Sevens” ring a bell anyone? If yes, we should be friends. If no, well… try not to judge me too harshly should you ever come across it. Let’s just say that it wasn’t exactly an Oscar contender.
My taste in books is not much better. Thank the good Lord for the invention of the Kindle. I used to ride the subway in shame. I would try (in vain) to shield what I was reading from my fellow passengers in order to save some face. I remember when a certain teenage vampire love story came out. I actually hauled that monster of a book with me to court for the better part of a week. I am still wondering how no one busted my balls about that (at least not to my face anyway). The Kindle allows me to read such drivel without anyone being the wiser. “Is that 50 Shades of Gray you are reading over there?” asks a random commuter. “Why no! Of course not! It’s Pride and Prejudice. I only read the classics”.
On an entirely unrelated note, I braved the wilds of Long Island in an attempt to hit up the Denny’s warehouse sale with my friend L and her two girls. Before we left, I ran to the dry cleaners to pick up D’s shirts. I was struggling with the clothing, holding O’s hand and trying to push S’s stroller over the ice mound at the curb in front of my car. It was not a graceful moment to say the least. Can I just say that people are crazy? This douche-canoe of a person, watched this scene unfold and actually rolled her eyes at me. Hey, lady. You know what would be more helpful than rolling your eyes? Actually getting off your ass and walking the 25 ft to give me a hand. Thanks a million.
I managed to get over the ice hump and off we went to Yenta-Fest 2014. The line for the sale wrapped around the entire first floor of the saddest non-mall you have ever seen. People waited for HOURS to score big savings on some neon colored baby leggings and bedazzled tank tops. No thanks. We left after a respectable 15 min wait and opted to bribe our misbehaving toddlers with ice-cream instead.